![]() She loves her baby so much that she can’t even imagine loving someone else. From that moment on, her life takes on a new meaning – she should live for her baby. This is the one who will finally love her and need her. For the first time, when a young mother who has suffered this trauma holds her baby in her arms, she suddenly realizes – that’s it. Chances are, they will follow their mothers’ patterns of behavior.īut let’s take the best-case scenario when the child has grown with trauma but managed somehow to stay affectionate. So, one day this child will get married and have kids too. They do their best to be helpful since they are convinced that only helpful children are loved. The kid is on their own, not causing trouble, helping around the house, looking after younger brothers and sisters. ![]() So, the child grows up trying to earn love, not knowing that love is unconditional. By and large, they don’t think they represent any value, especially when they become ill and “useless” in their old age. People with such childhood trauma often die earlier because they don’t understand they should take care of themselves, get proper treatment. ![]() The child grows up feeling unwanted, although that’s not true and they are the only reason their mother has gone through all the hardships. Instead, the kid is developing trauma because they feel insecure and convinced that they don’t deserve love.Įffects of Childhood Trauma: Generation 2 She makes every effort to provide her child with all the necessary stuff, but the child doesn’t realize that. She keeps playing the iron lady role, even when it’s no longer a necessity. Years pass by the woman adapts and learns to live her life without her husband’s support. No one explains what’s happening so the only explanation that seems natural is that mommy doesn’t love them. The woman is angry at the cruelty of fate, not the child – but the kid doesn’t understand what the problem really is. In such circumstances, the child seeks the mother’s attention and affection, and sometimes the mother responds and other times she just growls asking to leave her alone. They put on a mask and minimize communication and interaction with their kids because it causes almost physical pain to them. Others suffer from a latent depression and live their lives on autopilot. Many women in this situation develop a simple defense reaction – keep all their feelings locked up deep inside. She is too busy struggling to survive and doesn’t have time to recover from grief. The young mother is left alone with a child to bring up. Suddenly the man is mobilized because of the war. They are young, in love, waiting for a baby. Let’s take the example of a newly married couple. The child’s personality can’t develop properly without continuous emotional contact with their mother which involves basic things like communication, smiling, tenderness. ![]() And when you are maltreated, you take that experience of maltreatment as you. The issues arise when the parent is unable to play that role, possibly due to trauma. How Is Trauma Transmitted? Generation 1Īs a baby, you’ve got a primary caregiver who mirrors you – who smiles when you smile, who’s upset when you cry. Let’s look at one case, a case of a family including 3 generations. There are studies that confirm the transmission of trauma to children of victims – for example, the children of holocaust survivors can experience emotional problems, difficulties in relationships, in the way they function. The more we understand the background of our ancestors and what they had to deal with, the better idea we will have of what behavioral challenges we and our children are likely to face.Īn untreated intergenerational trauma can result in a compromised trust, honesty, and openness within a family. ![]() This is why it’s important to know as much as possible about the relationships between your parents and older family members. And if we look closer, often their behavior will have the same dynamic vis-a-vis their own parents. Did you even notice how some of you behavioral patterns – be it towards ourselves, our partners, children, or friends – are pretty much a copy of our parents’ behaviors? We either mimic them or go fully to the other end of the spectrum. ![]()
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